Autobiography
Today is my birthday. I hate birthdays.
I’ve decided to celebrate by penning the opening paragraphs of my autobiography.
“My name is Matthew R. (Surname). I’m not telling you what the R is for. I use the initial in tribute to Hunter S. Thompson. Sometimes, when people ask what my middle name is, I tell them that it’s Raoul, but it isn’t really. (That’s a Hunter S. Thompson reference as well, incidentally).
I have a sister who’s three years older than me called Claire. She tells people that she’s named after “Claire De Lune” by Debussy, but I know that she’s actually named after the song “Claire” by Gilbert O’Sullivan.
For years, I’ve been telling people that I’m named after “Matthew & Son” by Cat Stevens, but I have a feeling that I might have made it up. Ultimately, I’ve been telling people that for longer than I haven’t, so I think it’s become the truth by precedent.
Today is my 31st birthday, though I’ve made efforts to ensure that as few people know that as possible.
Currently, I live in Wellington in New Zealand, although I’m English. I have no idea what I am doing here, or how I came to find myself in this predicament.”
